Monday, May 14, 2007

Lindy Doesn't Like It Rough

The Playoffs bring out the best in people. The superstars shine, goalies make miraculous saves, the hits are bigger, the fans are crazier but I think most important of all the coaches turn it up a notch in terms of talking to the press. Lindy, pay attention to Brian over there. He's fixing you with the DFL (the Disappointed Father Look) because of your incessant outbursts in the media. Let's go up and down the list of wonderful crap Lindy has brought to the media's attention this series alone:

1) He's called out Ryan Miller. This is a stupid move, Ryan has busted his balls trying to keep the Sabres in the bloody playoffs, how about the fools out there skating around like ballerinas put the puck behind Emery. Miller is no Hasek.
2) He didn't like the hit on Tallinder. Tallinder needs to open a can of harden the fuck up. It's next to the whoopAss. He's still alive, he played in the OT, he can't be hurt that bad. Break out the MRIs, show me the pain!
3) Puck Management. Not to bring this up again but seriously Ruff, ENOUGH with the buzz words. I've never met a 5 year plan that I can't beat the shit out of. I think the Sens are showing the same level of grit, determination and willingness to get the job done.

Tonite is game 3 and the Sens are going to level the Sabres. I think Lindy has lost the dressing room. Miller was on TV responding to some of Lindy's comments and the look on his face matched his words, "Whatever". Whatever doesn't win games, indifference does not bring home the cup, and a lack of respect for your coach does nothing more than distract the players from what they need to do. Score more goals.

NHL in America

This is old news, but I need to rant.

A couple of weeks ago I was in Palm Springs, CA for the Coachella festival. I was missing my beloved Sharks. Don't worry, Game 2 will be on NBC at noon! I can catch a bit before heading out into 100 degree weather.

So I eagerly turn on NBC. I hear the now familiar voice of Bill Clement in the NBC studios as I relax into my mattress. His soothing voice fills the room for about... 3 seconds, before they cut it off and switch to..... an AIR FILTRATION INFOMERCIAL. What the deuce??! And for the next hour, they go on and on about this piece of crap air filter which supposedly sucks all the toxins out of the air. You wouldn't drink water this dirty, so why breathe air? Except that the damn thing is actually kills your family: Consumer Reports calls air purifier ‘unhealthy’.

The NHL is in such bad shape, that in California, close to where the powerhouse Ducks are making a run, they prefer to show an infomercial for something that will kill your family. Unreal. Maybe the NHL should get a new motto:
My NHL: At least it doesn't harm your family.
Later on in the weekend the Rangers/Buffalo double OT game was on, to my immense surprise. The announcers couldn't stop talking about how "Barbaro: A nation's horse" would be delayed because the game was going so long. He's a freaking race horse - lots of them die. Give me a break.

The NHL has already screwed over Canada earlier in the playoffs by not showing the Sens/Pens in primetime, but instead bowing to the wishes of NBC to play it in the afternoon. Always a sound business strategy, screw you most loyal customers.

Advice to the NHL: Focus on people that care about the game - Canadians.

Go Sens!

Friday, May 11, 2007

Puck Management

Folks, we're back. The GSN fortress of solitude was under assault the past few weeks. Needless to say, we have dealt with the pesky hostiles and return to you, our loyal fans to bring you the semi finals of the Stanley Cup Race.

So, it's Ottawa and Buffalo. Can't say this is a huge shock. In fact, the most shocking development to this point was some tsn fool saying emery outplayed brodeur. Um, that's a bold statement to say the least. Anyhow, game 1 of sens-sabres series went down last nite and what a game it was. Clearly, the sens won. In fact, I still call Sens in 6. The sens have insane depth, almost everyone on the team has scored in the post season, tight defence (did buffalo even get into the zone on the PP last nite?) and the secret weapon: Oleg Saprykin. It's a theme here at the GSN, we celebrate the men behind the men. The Saprykins, the Cowans, and the Langkows. The guys that hide in the shadows of superstars to strike like ninjas. Ninjas on skates. I digress.

The best part of the game was actually the post game press conference with Lindy Ruff. He talked about puck management. "We had puck management issues" according to Ruff. WTF is puck management? Have buzzwords invaded hockey without my approval here or what? We had bad puck synergy tonite and we couldn't envision a good strategy to move up the hourglass into new business markets. We're looking at various offshoring strategies to leverage our way into emerging markets. I miss the days of Daryl Sutter press conferences:

reporter: Why did you lose Daryl?
BigD: We didn't score more goals than they did.

Stick to the facts Mr. Ruff. Your boys need to score more goals. Plain and simple.

Wednesday, May 2, 2007

Vancouver is done . .

Jeff Cowan, the offensive juggernaut, is out.

That is all.

And we're back

After suffering some difficulties with our feed, we're back. Back to what though? This round of the playoffs has been lacking edge. I find myself struggling to have any enthusiasm for any of the matchups save the Sens vs. the Devils. In what has been a sensational series Ottawa has really shown the true depth of their team. NJ, not known to go quietly has acquitted themselves well. Strangely, MartyB has show an uncharacteristic weakness on the glove side, not sure if this is really something worth noting or not. Vancouver is pretty much on the way out of the playoffs. You need to protect 2-goal leads and stay the hell out of Luongo's face so he can stop the puck. The Rangers can suck it too. I like how the NHL disallowed that goal by the Sabres. Very reminiscent of Game 6 CGY vs TB where a similar goal was disallowed. I applaud the NHL's consistency in making dumb calls but let's be honest, unless there's some branch of quantum physics that I'm unaware of that puck was clearly across the goal line or it was occupying a strange interdimensional wormhole. I don't know about you people, but I'll take option 1.